March 15, 2009 at 5:27 pm (Uncategorized)

Studio Diary (3rd Post)

This a ramble and not great writing…

For my studio notes I have not been tagging people, but this note will break that. Mostly I just want to use my notes as a place for personal reflection, but this week im inviting a few of you in to read and comment.

My musique concree/tape music composition ‘reptile dysfunction’ – my attempt at punk – is on hold for this last week as I worked on a piece for ItSpace. ItSpace is a subgroup inside of my myspace for songs made out of found objects. On first lsten i felt challenged – peter traub, the composer who recieved the commission to do this project – made som EXCELLENT songs out of metal bowls, a folding table and egg timers (As well as several other objects).

Feeling challenged I grabbed water bottles and made noises. Then I spent a week making those noises sound like music. Im not anywhere close enough to Peters level of awesome, but im pretty proud of what I came up with, which I am sharing with you below!

I think Tape Music/Musique Concrete for me is a eucharistic expierence. Its the acknowledging that the ordinary is, in fact, extra-ordinary. That nothing is just its self, but is in fact something extraordinary in its ordinaryness. Pierre Shaffer wanted to seperate sound from source to prove that sound had no meaning, was just an object seperate and on its own. I want to prove through the sound that all things – sound and object – have multiplicity of meanings.

Anyway…listen to the song, tell me what you think!
http://www.myspace.com/itspacewaterbottles

This a ramble and not great writing…

For my studio notes I have not been tagging people, but this note will break that. Mostly I just want to use my notes as a place for personal reflection, but this week im inviting a few of you in to read and comment.

My musique concree/tape music composition ‘reptile dysfunction’ – my attempt at punk – is on hold for this last week as I worked on a piece for ItSpace. ItSpace is a subgroup inside of my myspace for songs made out of found objects. On first lsten i felt challenged – peter traub, the composer who recieved the commission to do this project – made som EXCELLENT songs out of metal bowls, a folding table and egg timers (As well as several other objects).

Feeling challenged I grabbed water bottles and made noises. Then I spent a week making those noises sound like music. Im not anywhere close enough to Peters level of awesome, but im pretty proud of what I came up with, which I am sharing with you below!

I think Tape Music/Musique Concrete for me is a eucharistic expierence. Its the acknowledging that the ordinary is, in fact, extra-ordinary. That nothing is just its self, but is in fact something extraordinary in its ordinaryness. Pierre Shaffer wanted to seperate sound from source to prove that sound had no meaning, was just an object seperate and on its own. I want to prove through the sound that all things – sound and object – have multiplicity of meanings.

Anyway…listen to the song, tell me what you think!
http://www.myspace.com/itspacewaterbottles

This a ramble and not great writing…

For my studio notes I have not been tagging people, but this note will break that. Mostly I just want to use my notes as a place for personal reflection, but this week im inviting a few of you in to read and comment.

My musique concree/tape music composition ‘reptile dysfunction’ – my attempt at punk – is on hold for this last week as I worked on a piece for ItSpace. ItSpace is a subgroup inside of my myspace for songs made out of found objects. On first lsten i felt challenged – peter traub, the composer who recieved the commission to do this project – made som EXCELLENT songs out of metal bowls, a folding table and egg timers (As well as several other objects).

Feeling challenged I grabbed water bottles and made noises. Then I spent a week making those noises sound like music. Im not anywhere close enough to Peters level of awesome, but im pretty proud of what I came up with, which I am sharing with you below!

I think Tape Music/Musique Concrete for me is a eucharistic expierence. Its the acknowledging that the ordinary is, in fact, extra-ordinary. That nothing is just its self, but is in fact something extraordinary in its ordinaryness. Pierre Shaffer wanted to seperate sound from source to prove that sound had no meaning, was just an object seperate and on its own. I want to prove through the sound that all things – sound and object – have multiplicity of meanings.

Anyway…listen to the song, tell me what you think!
http://www.myspace.com/itspacewaterbottles

Pierre Schaeffer & Pierre Henry: Pioneers in Sampling

Jun 14, 2005 7:02 PM, By John Diliberto
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This article originally appeared in the December 1986 issue of Electronic Musician.

Before Trevor Horn sampled a sound, Akin and the Chipmunks squealed, or Run-DMC scratched a record; when synthesizers were a twinkle in the imagination of Varese and Cage and at about the same moment that Eno formed his first infant gurgles, Pierre Schaeffer and Pierre Henry (pronounced: Ahn-ree) were transmuting the world of sound. In the mid-’60s, their techniques were arcane: by the early ’80s they were nouveau-chic. But in 1948, they were revolutionary.

“Our direction was to turn our back on music and that is crucial,” proclaimed Schaeffer in his elegant, old Paris apartment. “People who try to create a musical revolution do not have a chance, but those who turn their back to music can sometimes find it.”

Shortly alter World War II and shortly before the widespread use of magnetic tape (developed in Germany), Schaeffer and Henry began their revolt by recording sounds from the natural world onto phonograph discs, altering them through the primitive means available, and creating an alarming music that they dubbed musique concrète (pronounced: muzeek kon-kret), or concrete music.

Think of The Art of Noise without a rhythm box and you have a rough approximation of the first masterpiece of musique concrète, Symphonie Pour Un Homme Seul (Symphony for a Man Alone), Schaeffer and Henry created audio portraits for the end of the machine age and the beginning of the electronic age that burst with mechanical noises, orchestral hits, trains, and text-sound babble. Doors open and close on indecipherable conversations; engines start, stop and transform into screams and moans; disembodied pianists jam with mouth noise rhythm sections. Now, almost 40 years later, the scratches on the records they used give this vanguard work a charming, antique quality.

Their studios in the ’50s and ’60s were hotspots of experimentation. They formed the ORTF (French Radio) Experimental Studio in the ’50s, and in 1960 Henry founded the studio APSOME and Schaeffer founded the Groupe De Recherches Musicales. Among his many students was French synthesist Jean-Michel Jarre, who regards Schaeffer as a mentor. “He was very important in my life,” claims Jarre, “because he was the first man to consider music in terms of sound and not notes, harmonies, and chords.”

Schaeffer despised the trends of classical music in the 20th Century, still embroiled in the 12-tone and serialist methods of Arnold Schoenberg and his disciples. “This made for a century,” exclaims Schaeffer, “of the most boring music. Schoenberg, a teacher lacking genius, had a ‘brilliant’ idea. One was supposed to use all 12 notes without repeating any. One is sure in this way to avoid the problems of tonality and to avoid copying Mahler’s music.

“Unfortunately,” he continues, “when you suppress the intervals between notes you suppress music. You make it insignificant. You take the feeling, the intelligence, and meaning away.”

It was Schaeffer who first developed the ideas of musique concrète. Though he was born into a musical family in 1910, his parents forbade him to study music. Instead he went to the Ecole Polytechnic (the French equivalent of MIT), and studied electronics, eventually winding up as an engineer on French radio. During World War II, he was an operator for the French Resistance Radio Network.

Schaeffer’s method of returning meaning and emotion to music was to go into the world and the sound effects library of his radio studio. “I was actually concerned with the possibilities of radio art,” he recalls. In the process, he became more interested in his sound effects for radio plays rather than the dramas themselves. “From the moment you accumulate sounds and noises, deprived of their dramatic connotations, you cannot help but make music,” he insists.

Using disk lathes, Schaeffer went to locales like the Batignolle Railway Station and etched the rumble of trains into the record’s grooves. “I was attracted to external events and impressive machines,” he states with a grand sweep of his cigarette. “It was an emotional experience because the railroad carries many memories, many psychological and psychosomatic feelings. Sometimes these feelings can be very violent, deeply rooted in your childhood.”

Unlike the earlier Futurist work of Russolo, Schaeffer wanted to remove the original meanings and definitions of his sounds and create a deeper psychological-emotional response. In works such as Etude aux Chemins de Fer (Etude on Railroads), Etude Pathetique (Etude on Pathos), and Etude aux Objets (Etude on Objects), the sounds were familiar, but rearranged into bizarre juxtapositions, in the surrealist style of the era. The techniques of speeding up, slowing down, reversing, editing, and looping were all used to create sonic “collages,” as Schaeffer calls them, all before the advent of tape recorders, let alone digital samplers.

After recording their sounds, they went back into the studio and isolated them, re-recording them onto other disks with different manipulations, including what they called “the locked groove:” putting an intentional skip in the record so a sound would be repeated, not unlike a tape loop or sequencer. Schaeffer describes the recording process. “We would have seven or eight turntables playing together, but with only one sound playing on each. Then we would try different variations, montages with let’s say, sound ‘A’ repeated twice, then a sound ‘B’ then ‘C’ repeated and so on. It was similar to an orchestra rehearsal where you would be trying different themes, different variations.”

Schaeffer has the air of a French aristocrat, dabbling with sound as a philosophical exercise. Pierre Henry, on the other hand, is a classically trained musician and composer who diverged from the traditional route to join in Schaeffer’s experiments in 1949. Henry is restrained and self-absorbed, convinced that he is on the only true musical path. Henry and Schaeffer’s relationship has been turbulent. They are reputed to have broken up in a violent fight in the ’60s, only resuming their friendship a few years ago. Now Schaeffer, who has since stopped composing, gives much of the credit for their music to Henry. Henry, on the other hand, sat silently during Schaeffer’s interview and demanded his own session.

By 1951, they had tape recorders, a medium in which Henry still works almost exclusively. His studio contains a mixing console, two 8-tracks, several 2-track Studers, and rooms full of reel-to-reel tapes of raw sounds. He now calls his work “electro-acoustic music.” Both he and Schaeffer are disdainful of the electronic music that in many ways they helped spawn. “It is important to understand that there is no use of electronically generated sounds in our music,” says Schaeffer. “It is concerned with the acoustics of recorded natural sounds on which we then have the power of transformation.”

These statements aren’t entirely true, however. Synthesizers appear on Schaeffer’s 1978 Etude aux Sons Animes (Etude on Animated Sounds) and sitting unobtrusively next to Henry’s mixing console is an analog synthesizer. “It is just a decoration,” he says with a conspiratorial grin to his aide and translator. “It is not wired in. I do not use it, but it could happen.”

Henry can appear like an “electro-acoustic” snob, but he has also been willing to place his work in a more pop context. In 1969, he added electronic scribbles to the British hard rock of Spooky Tooth’s Ceremony, and in 1967 collaborated with French rocker Michel Colombier on Mass For Today. Most recently, he worked with French avant-gardist Gilbert (Lard Free, Urban Sax) Artman.

Yet he considers himself part of the traditional classical music stream. He studied at the Conservatoire National Superieur de Musique in Paris, and with Nadia Boulanger and Olivier Messiaen. “I am still a traditional composer,” he insists. “It is not the recording of the sound that made me different.”

Henry tends towards manipulations of musical instruments rather than natural sound. “In the Symphonie Pour Un Homme Seul all the instrumental parts, piano, percussion, were played by myself,” he boasts. “It was a music that I played and then, only afterwards was this music fragmented, elaborated upon, using the techniques of the time. I was also experimenting at the time with objects, noises, anything you could create inside the studio, noise from composed objects, invented objects.”

Their compositions sought a musical language that fell between natural sounds and instrumental ones. They wanted the sounds to stand apart from their original context, yet have the musical values and complexity of instruments. So a door wasn’t a door, but a scraping wipe across a bleak landscape. A violin no longer played scales, but a descending drone into a personal hell.

“Music has to do with sounds,” explains Schaeffer, “so we need to find them somewhere and it is preferred to find musical ones. You have two sources for sounds: noises, which always tell you something-a door cracking, a dog barking, the thunder, the storm; and then you have instruments. An instrument tells you, la-la-la-la (sings a scale). Music has to find a passage between noises and instruments. It has to escape. It has to find a compromise and an evasion at the same time; something that would not be dramatic because that has no interest to us, but something that would be more interesting than sounds like Do-Re-Mi-Fa…”

Works like his Masquerage (1952) and Henry’s Well-Tempered Microphone (1951) were far removed from conventional musical scales or language. In the latter work, Henry prepared a piano a la Cage and used different miking placements to generate a discordant orchestra. Remember that this was the early 1950s, and even the microphone was still a recent and relatively unexplored development.

“In the Well-Tempered Microphone,” relates Henry, ‘the idea was to show all the resources of the microphone and of the instrument. By using the microphone for your recording, you could go further than with the instrument itself. The microphone could amplify and magnify the effect of the instrument and, if combined with other little acoustical transformations possible at that time, it could make this effect more magic.” Some of these performances would fit nicely into Looney Toons cartoons. The piano works in particular, like Concerto Des Ambiguites, have the effect of Cecil Taylor on helium. At their best, they succeeded in removing expectations and preconceptions from music, allowing newer thoughts and feelings to prevail.

Schaeffer seized upon a fire engine squealing past his Paris apartment to illustrate their philosophy. “Let us use the example of the fire engine,” he exclaimed. ‘What we are hearing is a musical third, a woodwind instrument, which is here a horn, and finally the siren itself. What the locked groove allows you to do is to conceal the fact that it is a fire truck, to forget that it is a musical third and it allows you to make the instrument sound like another instrument.”

Although Henry worked sparingly with electronics on early compositions like Haut Voltage (1955), his best work bends acoustic material into seemingly synthesized designs. Le Voyage (1961-62) is a timbrally rich and varied excursion based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead, with only violins and voice as its principal sound sources. “There was absolutely no electronically generated sound on Le Voyage,” Henry insisted indignantly. “Le Voyage was a continuation of the experiments of the ’60s, but it was done in a new studio. I think that people should consider me as a creator of music and sounds who worked in different studios that he personally designed. So if there is a difference between Le Voyage and Haut Voltage for instance, it was mostly due to the studio where I was working. The sound depends on the studio where you work.”

The sound also depends upon the stage where you present the work. While Schaeffer’s and Henry’s first compositions were designed for radio concerts, their music caught the fancy of many choreographers and playwrights, chief among them, Maurice Bejart, with whom Henry has had a continuous relationship since the ’50s. Their collaborations, including Haut Voltage, Le Voyage, Mass For Today, and Variations for a Door and a Sigh, brought Henry’s music onto the concert stage where he would sit among his mixers, filters, and tape recorders, performing live mixes and manipulations of his tapes, not unlike Stockhausen working his potentiometers or Brian Eno, who processed Phil Manzanera’s guitar solos with Roxy Music.

In the ’70s, Henry staged expansive works for the concert hall like The Second Symphony, which was “composed for a circular space, the Cirque d’Hiver,” Henry explains. “It was a work for a 16-track recording, which was very ambitious for the time; we used eight stereo tape recorders, wired together and about 100 loudspeakers that would diffuse the sound circularly. People would feel immersed and surrounded by the music.” It makes you wish quadraphonic sound had caught on.

In a more recent work, Futuriste (1980), Henry channels his sound through a variety of acoustic spaces placed on the stage. He had room-sized boxes filled with speakers, bathtubs, old tanks, basins and pipes, all lending their own peculiar resonance to Henry’s prerecorded scores. “It was a work of acoustic and electric diffusion,” he proudly proclaims. “For me it was the best definition of an electro-acoustic concert. It was at the same time vibrant, live, and on tape.”

Curiously, some regard these vanguard artists as anachronistic in the context of new music in general, and the French avant-garde in particular. Composers associated with Pierre Boulez’s Institut de Recherche et Coordination Acoustique/Musique (IRCAM) in Paris, are reputed to snipe at Henry and Schaeffer like they were doddering old tinkerers. For their part, Henry and Schaeffer take any opportunity to lampoon the high-tech computer music of IRCAM.

Schaeffer relates a Pierre Boulez story from the 1950s, illuminating the schism in French music circles. “One day we had the visit of a young and unknown musician, Pierre Boulez. At the time, I was involved in trying to create a solfege that could include many sounds and timbres. I thought we should classify the sounds in terms of their effect on the listener, of their psychological effect. We would classify them in high, low, hard, harsh sounds. Boulez objected to that. He refused to collaborate and left after composing one piece, as boring as usual, with one single sound (Etudes, 1952).”

Of course, with the sophisticated computers at IRCAM, like the 4X Real Time Digital Computer, Boulez and his disciples are able to work at a subtler, almost sub-atomic level of musical sound and structure than Henry and Schaeffer ever could.

Schaeffer, who has spent the last ten years composing philosophical treatises on the state of the world, relates to high technology the way people probably related to his own work when he began in 1948. “I am convinced that synthetic music, so fashionable today, is making a mistake feeding the ear with synthetic sounds. We need to come back to that.”

Schaeffer may get his wish with the abundance of digital samplers on the market, taking sounds from the acoustic world with their harmonically richer structures, and manipulating them into new shapes. Yet, when queried about it, neither Schaeffer nor Henry seemed very interested in the new technology. But embracement of new technology isn’t really the point. Technique ultimately is not music. Henry’s methods may be archaic by contemporary standards, but the resulting music is powerfully evocative by any standards. Popular artist Bill Nelson records his personal music this way, claiming it has an intrinsic and emotional value not unlike woodcarving. He’s joined in this opinion by Brian Eno and Holger Czukay.

Pierre Schaeffer and Pierre Henry made a contribution that has helped shape music for the last 38 years, be it the early tape music works of Otto Luening and Vladimir Ussachevsky at Columbia, and Stockhausen in Germany, the Beatles in their Sgt. Pepper days, or producers Arthur Baker and Martin Rushent today. They owe their genesis to the sounds of a world rearranged by Pierre Schaeffer and Pierre Henry.

I had thought I would not post again until the ItSpace composition was complete. But as im taking a break to think of my next step I thought I would do a quick and not very thorough posting.

I chose water bottles as my object, with two particular bottles as my main instruments. Im hoping to add glass water bottles and 2 liter bottles to the mix eventually. I’ve cut up the sounds now that I have the good bits and it sounds a bit like the bastard child of Steve Reich (whom i am listening to as i type) and a tambala and bangalli music.

usually i just blast throug. In the past ive tried to think in terms of screenplay: 3 act structure etc. This time im oing slowly, with ‘Music Composing for Dummies’ and the Wikipedia site for song structure as my guide. I am hoping to turn out something that is fairly tight and structured. We will see.

Thought:
You may ask ‘Jason, you keep whinning about rewarding work and you love this hobby – why not do workshops classes on ‘making music with tape’ or something?’ well, doubters, im working on it! But first let me learn what i need abou song structure, composition tecniques and the such!

1
Reptile Dysfunction is still coming along, I have a few bits put together and some interesting sounds collected.

2
I’m making notes for two larger pieces. No. 1 is ‘Esters Symphony’ which will be made out of sounds from objects my grandmother left behind and the other is ‘Mass Electronics’ which will be a musique concrete mass setting. both require me to study those musical forms much closer so that I can actually make it work

3
I’m stepping away from Reptile Dysfunction for a few days. I stumbled on the wonderful ItSpace project, a subgroup inside of myspace where people create pages for musical pieces created out regular non-musical items. Yep, musique concrete. The compositions using the banister and reclining chair are fantastic!

So, to that end, I feel challenged! Most of my work so far has been layers of sound. Im wondering If i too can do a single object composition? I have recorded the sounds of water bottles: water being poured, tapping, shaking etc. I’ve cut out and collected the good bits, which sound almost like a tabla. Im still working on how to best structure the composition, but am feeling challenged and excited by the process.

I hope to still use layering and a limited amount of effects, but no other objects will be used for composition.

I will rise to the challenge!

http://transition.turbulence.org/Works/itspace/

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TDO Release Sites

March 15, 2009 at 5:25 pm (Uncategorized)

Complete list of TDO release sites plus one site for TDO ringtones!

Download TAPEDECK ORCHESTRA

www.freewebs.com/simplesou

nds
www.myspace.com/tapedeckorchestra
www.myspace.com/tapedeckHTK
http://www.unsigned.com/tapedeckorchestra
http://amiestreet.com/music/tape-deck-orchestra/
http://www.virb.com/tapedeckorchestra
http://www.purevolume.com/TapedeckOrchestra

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Studio Diary

March 15, 2009 at 5:24 pm (Uncategorized)

I love musique concrete. I love making it and I love listening to it.

Its not all Pierre henry, you know. Matmos have been putting out mc albums for years.

Today I did a search for an art-metal band from the late 1990’s, Tantrum Of The Muse. Little did I know that the singer/songwriter of TOTM had recorded a solos album out of layers of found sounds, guitare and bass. While the metal stuff of TOTM and his new project Unteachers is not my cup of tea, the washing soundscapes, miminal vocal and peerless guitare and bass work is its self pure beauty.

I invite all of you to go listen to Stephen Mark Sarro. And sir, i take up your challenge.

1
I made the creaky dryer sound sort of like an electric guitare.

Erin is back from Nicuragua and I got her to do her David Bowie impression on ‘peace on earth’. Ive put these two together with a bit of a metalic water bottle being tapped and I like the effect. Im not sure what to do with it yet, but it may become the chorus to a spoken word section of another song.

2
I met with the wonderful Pam Mcullum-Rude from my VST days. She knows how much I value my long deceased grandmother, a woman who was a musician, a poet, a songwriter, a teacher and a buissiness woman. She asked me If i had thought of making musique concrete peice in her memory.

I have toyed with this idea in the past, but not to any depth. I have various items of her, as do my sister and my mom and her sister and the cousins. It may be fun to, over a period of months, collect and edit sounds and make an ‘Ester Symphony’.

3
I have my ‘Composition for Dummies’ book and am reading about the various classical music forms. It is still my desire to learn learn musical forms, to make works that can fit those genres. If anything I am a ‘hobbiest classical/avante garde/musique concrete composer’ and the more of the rules/structures/forms i can learn the better music i can make.

And the more rules of music you know then its easier to break the properly.

1)
Im sitting here trying to make a squeaking clothes dryer sound like a guitare. This has got me thinking about Pierre Henry, the way he turned a sigh and a sqeaky door into…well, he made it sounds like bells, strings, horns etc. And this was BEFORE the use of computers. Im just a hobbiest at this but Im dying to one day see how the masters do it, if Henry is still around and performing (he did a few shows in 07)

Henry is best known for Psyche Rock – a collaboration with a rock band. Psyche Rock eventually became the inspiration to the theme from Futurama.

2)
Id like to find Henrys collaboration with the band Spooky Tooth – they did a record together called ‘Ceremony’ which was based off the Catholic liturgy. Ive been toying with a simillar idea and would love to see how they did it. Or hear, i mean.

1
It was going to be a happy song. It was caled ’shimmer’ and i had a chorus writeen. Playing with my new mic I sang my chorus and hummed a few lines. I have not found all the right sounds for this song yet so I just stated editing the test sounds I had collected – coins dropped into water, a fork on a plate – and then… Well, then the song started to take shape. It started to have a feel. It started to have a ’seriel killer from a horror movie singing to himself as he stalks his victim’ sort of sound.

This was NOT my intent. It was going to be about sunny days, and love and God and all of that. But the sounds just worked, tweaked with a few effects. Ok, so im going to redo the coins in water sound, but thats nothing.

2
I hummed into the mic. Put on effects.
And now… I hae an idea for a follow up project. I want to do a larger composition of hummed lines, bits of singing and spoken lines. Collect a variety of voices, put on effects and layers. I could do a whole ’symphony’ this way. Ill have to write a Narrative Score, do demos and then collect friends to do alot of the voices and sounds…but its an idea. For after this project.

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March 15, 2009 at 5:22 pm (Uncategorized)

1.
To begin, i’m thinking I will name the new album ‘Reptile Dysfunction’. No real reason for the name, so maybe Ill try and work that into the theme or write a song of that name or something. But, come on, that’s a funny name!

2.
I’ve needed a new microphone for awhile. My little portable tape recorder, while getting most of the sounds on ‘four elements one love’ and ‘home to kitsilano’, usually gets some pretty thin sounds, has served me well. Now though I need some cleaner, better quality sounds. Shannon McAdams, theologian extraordianre and computer wiz um, also extraordinair, recomended the Snowball mic to me months ago. And now i have it.

OMG! The sound quality is awesome! Ive been just testing it out on various sounds: a hamburger cooking, dropping coins into water, rubber bands stretched across an Almond Roca can (my Tin Canjo? Guitcan?), spinning my engagement ring (Shh! Don’t tell Erin!). The sound quality is AMAYZING!

I work in musique concree, which means making music from found sounds. This mic will let me collect better sounds. If you cut them up, put some effects from garage band – or not -on them you can make some amayzing songs!

3.
The new album will be a punk/folk album! ‘Four Elements’ was an expierement in song creation, ‘Home’ was a project in composition. This time i want to do a ‘pierre henry meets bob dylan meets jandek’ sort of albums (Henry is one of the early pioneers of musique concrete and Jandek is an indie artist who has released 50 something albums since the 1970s and may or may not be a mental patient. If you don’t know who Dylan is then, um, please don’t procreate!).

The sounds ive started collecting today, as well as last week on my recorder may-or-may-not make it onto the album. Part of what i’m trying to do is find some ‘writing instruments’ – a few basic sounds/sound sources for percussion or maybe even building a gut-bucket (was basin, brook stick, rope) for a bass.

4.
This is the most rocking hobby ever!

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I am no longer a Christian

February 2, 2009 at 6:34 pm (Uncategorized)

It happened last night.

Faith left me, slipped between my fingers like sand.

I felt my heart fall like a rock, felt my soul vaporate in the pure light of unfaith, shredding in the despirited wind.

I was not a true Christian.

I doubted too many things.

I did not pull the party line, did not agree that their was as one true church or faith. I dared to belive that God was bigger than our vocabulary, dared to say I was an Atheist Christian: That which we named as God could not possibly exist – how can we define God – and that the object of our faith was not in vain.

I dared to say I was not a theist, that I did not belive God was a man shaed being seperate from creation. Like the biblical witness I belive that God is both immanent and transcendent, the spirit fills all of creation.

In the end, then, maybe we need something new. We need a new way of beliving. I dare not say a postmodern, a liberal, a conservative or traditional way. What we need is to stop being Christian!
Christians are the ‘one true way’.
Christians can contain God in neat rituals, fun dogmatics and interesting mind games.

This, of course, is heresy.
I am not a Christian.

I am a Jesusian.
I am just a guy on the way, marking my path slowly as I journey. I am just a guy, in love with the story of God. I am just a guy who does not belie in all of the bible, a theist God or that Jesus was God. I am a guy who belives, lord help my unbelife. I am a guy who feels the call of the spirit into deeper and deeper mystery, away from the asnweres, away from the traditions when they cease to function as a wild poetry.

I am not a Christian, but I am a friend of Jesus!

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Birth Stories

January 14, 2009 at 6:39 am (Uncategorized)

God is in the shit of it.

God is in the midsy of it.

Like comes into the world with a body that could break in the wind,

among the shit of animals,

praised by strangers from far lands with strange agendas.

This is what Life does. It emerges. It shows up. It burst forth in the dirty corners of life. It seeps in and takes up our hearts, enlarges them, makes them oversized. Life shows up in dangerous places and in dangerous people. Life showes up in people who live on the margin.

Do not forget Life = God.

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Advent Christmas Epiphany

January 12, 2009 at 6:33 pm (Uncategorized)

Advent saved my Christmas. I used to get overwhelemd by it all, the plastic decorations, the ‘peace on earth, good will to men’ that was someone how contained in the retail expierence. It drives me nuts, eats at my soul. Advent saved Christmas for me, cut open the four weeks leading into Christmas and made them about something else: waiting, wondering, pondering.

Do you not get it? Do you not understand this baby in a manger? This oldest of Christian symbols? Its not about any of the crap you have ever been taught. It is this: When God – when Spirit – when New Life – enters the world its among the vulnerable. Its among the poor. It comes with a body that could be lost on the side of the road.

Life is God and when Life comes among us it is delicate. It needs to be tended to. Looked after. It needs us to pause, to breath, to allow room for expectation and wonder and awe.

What else are you going to do? How else are you going to respond? Life is the only resposne, prayer and crying and laughing is the only response. Joy and sorrow and all of the things of our deep humanity.

Live. Love. Laugh. That is how we encounter God.

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Am I A Christian?

January 11, 2009 at 3:25 am (Uncategorized)

Am I a Christian?

Im not sure anymore.

I used to know.

Used to be certain, arms in the air waving

passing out tracts at the football games

praise the lord praise the lord.

My friends think I am not

I have gone to far

Rejected too much

No Original Sin for me

No miracles or deity of Christ.

So maybe I am not a Christian

Maybe I am a Jesusian

A friend of Jesus

Child of Wisdom

Following

Seeking

Inspired by the life that stood up to the powers that be.

I cannot ask anymore of myself, honestly

but i can taste and see

I can seek the face of resserection in my life, heart and world

Here I Stand, i can do no other.

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The Devil

January 11, 2009 at 3:22 am (Uncategorized)

God is Life.

Not that life comes from God, or flows from God or was created by God.
But God is life.

Life is the body of God.

The process of life unfolding is God.

What of the devil

What of him?

I do not belive in demons on my shoulders, whispering into my ear, tempting me with porn and drugs and hard candys.

I am a human

I am more than capable of creative brokeness on my own

I do not belive in the devil

In a satan

I do belive in devilishness.

In humanitys capacity to break each other.

I do belive in my own selfishness.

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God

January 8, 2009 at 5:15 am (Uncategorized)

1.

God

Such a heavy word. Ask anyone their opinion on that word and the hornets nest gets rattled, the teeth come out, the tears flow. Its a heavy word, dripping in the connotations of child hood trips to church, sunday school lessons, the church choir, early childhood spiritual expierences, over bearing religious leaders, exclusiveist theologies.
We don’t really hate the word, we hate the connotations. We hate the spiderwebs, the weight of history.

2.

What is God?

What is dying is the old God. God is dead. God is dying. Not really though. The models are dying. We squirm under the weight of a god that no longer makes sense.

God does not sit outside the world waiting to judge.

God is that which the world is steeped in. God is that which we are swimming in. God is that which includes and transcends the world.

3.

God is love.

God is life. Life is God.

God is not a person, but the unfolding of life in our midst.

God is life! God is living.

God is that which we all participate in. That which we are all a part of. God is that which we do with each other.

God is dead, long live God!

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